Tuesday, November 12, 2024

Jennifer Paget - Honoring Your Parents: Interrupting Inherited Patterns of Ancestral Trauma

Yasher koachacheykh, Kudos, to Jennifer Paget on the publication of her Dorshei Derekh davar in Evolve: Groundbreaking Conversations, the Reconstructionist journal of big ideas, edited by our own Jacob Staub.

[Based on the devar Torah delivered by the author at Reconstructionist Minyan Dorshei Derekh in Philadelphia on the occasion of her chanting from the Torah scroll for the first time on Shabbat Nakhamu.]

Honor your father and your mother, as your God יהוה has commanded you, that you may long endure, and that you may fare well, in the land that your God יהוה is assigning to you. (Deuteronomy 5:16)

Second-century Rabbi Shimon Bar Yokhai remarked that the commandment to honor one’s father and mother is the most difficult commandment to observe. For me, it became difficult to honor my father after I left home for college and beyond, when he began drinking heavily and refused our family’s pleas to get help. I needed to stay away and did so for several years. I will come back to that story later.

Addressing the often-difficult relationships between parents and children, various commentaries declare that honoring your parents doesn’t have to require loving them. Caring for them in their old age counts as honoring them, for example. I found a new perspective on honoring your parents this year when, at my daughter’s urging, I took a course called YachatzHealing Jewish Ancestral Trauma. The course centered on the impact of collective traumatic history on American Ashkenazi Jews. Here are two passages from the website, Transcending Jewish Trauma, created by Jo Kent Katz, that describe a key premise of the course.

While the impact of trauma on individuals may vary significantly, the impact of trauma on a group of people with a shared history of navigating systemic oppression can often be tracked collectively. We can refer to this as collective trauma. 

It can be a profound awakening to recognize the depth to which our thoughts, emotions, and actions are impacted by our lived and inherited experiences with trauma and oppression. Originally, these behaviors were brilliantly adaptive responses; acute, refined, definitive attempts at securing the survival of our People. They were often the very tactic that kept us alive, that kept our People alive. We can call them ancestrally proven best practices. By noticing and reflecting on these inherited practices, we can make more conscious decisions about whether they still serve us today.

When we try to understand our parents, there may be reasons for their behavior that can’t be found in their individual stories, but rather in ancestral experiences. Jo Kent Katz created a tool called The Transcending Jewish Trauma Map. It’s a helpful way to explore a wide range of behaviors that result from Ashkenazi ancestral experiences of terror and otherness. Offering a personal example, Jo Kent Katz describes inheriting a pattern of urgency. She feels she is never going fast enough, getting enough done, is always on the move and others are never moving fast enough. She is often impatient with her partner, friends and co-workers, etc.

Her ancestral history sheds light on this urgency. Her grandmother had to flee Russia under great threat after seeing her parents killed by the Cossacks and suffered undiagnosed PTSD for the rest of her life. Katz connects her persistent sense of urgency to her grandmother’s traumatic escape. Urgency enabled her grandmother to survive. And then it was passed down to her mother and herself as a generalized way to live. Noticing and reflecting about the traumatic origins of the generalized urgency that drives her helps her interrupt practices that don’t serve her and may be harmful to the people around her.

Her story resonated with me immediately. I do not have Ashkenazi ancestry, but my husband Mark is 100% Ashkenazi. His Russian-born grandfather experienced a similar trauma. His grandfather saw his father, a rabbi, killed by the Cossacks after declaring that God would protect him.

Mark and I relate very differently to time. He runs early. I run late. I often feel rushed by him. He is often frustrated that I am not reliable about time, and he can’t predict when I will be ready.

With Mark’s permission, let me describe his airport practices and compare his airport practices to mine and my father’s. Mark considers his airport practices reasonable and appropriate. From my perspective, he clicks into semi-panic mode at the airport. He urgently works to be as far forward in every line that he can, as if he might lose his spot on the flight. If he doesn’t push forward, other people will take his place.

But there is another dimension to this. He feels responsible to be as efficient as possible, such as when going through security, so that as many people as possible can get through as quickly as possible. In this way he feels himself to be part of a collective and his behavior is for the good of all. Can you imagine how this might have been passed down to him by immigrant grandparents who were forced to flee?

Meanwhile, I am all “Lah-di-da!…It’s okay if I am not all that organized….If I drop something… or it takes a minute to find my license….or if I struggle to take my laptop out…It isn’t a matter of life or death!” I have an underlying unconscious trust that the system likes me, protects me. I am not under threat. There is no need to rush. Sadly, I don’t carry Mark’s sense of responsibility for the collective.

As I grew up, my family’s way of functioning, under my father’s control, was to always be running for the gate. We usually made it on at the last minute, adrenaline pumping.

For my father, getting to the airport early was for the uptight, for the people who didn’t know how to enjoy life. Whatever amount of time you were early was time out of your life, time that other people controlled. Never mind that this caused problems for the people around him. We missed flights, and we made other people miss flights. Furthermore, he demeaned people who tried to be prompt or, God forbid, early. In addition, he expected people to help him out of whatever jams he got into, to bend the rules for him.

I don’t think it’s a coincidence that I come from a lineage of oppressors. That is, my father’s family came to the U.S. in the 17th century and held slaves until the Civil War. I clearly need a different map. Using the concept, though, I looked for historical context that might shed light on my father’s patterns and my own. I know only a few stories, but they seem to hold clues. Here’s one:

My father’s mother, Louise, lived in Mexico with her parents from about the time she was eight until she was 23, when suddenly they had to flee. We were told there was a train trip in which the only things they took with them were two porcelain pigeons that they carried on their laps. (Like Shabbat candlesticks?) My great grandfather had been an executive at an American copper mining company in Mexico. They were expelled during the Mexican Revolution in about 1914.

They were on the perpetrating side of an oppressive system whose time had run out. Even so, I image this had a traumatic effect on my grandmother.  I wonder how my grandmother may have imposed an undue sense of danger and urgency into ordinary life. Was this the cause my father’s life-long habit of digging in his heels and refusing to be rushed or to acknowledge risk? My grandmother escaped to a safe place where her family was part of the white ruling class. Safe, in a lasting way. I imagine that she didn’t suffer repeated trauma as she resettled in the same way Jewish immigrants did. As a result, my father had the luxury of privilege and safety that allowed him to rebel. Rebellion didn’t come at much of a price. For him, the greater threat was to be controlled, to lose power, to not hold a special status in society.

I have a procrastinating pattern that I think is related to this, coming from ancestors most concerned with maintaining power, on which they considered their survival to depend. People tell me I am a perfectionist. Maybe so, but it is a different kind of perfectionism than people with an Ashkenazi background might have. This is hard to say, but I think it has felt safer to me to delay action than to reveal myself as less than superior, lest I lose the esteem of others, lest I lose status and power. It is a pattern that has been born of privilege and protected and perpetuated by privilege–white privilege of the kind that my ancestors enjoyed and perpetuated.

This all leads me to think my father was afraid of losing power or control to his children. I was the oldest, the first to challenge him at every point of development. If he had lived longer, we might have navigated through that.

When I was 29, I began to fear my father might die soon. He was a life-long smoker as well as a heavy drinker. This pushed me to find a way to reconcile and repair. We began meeting. He would drive to Manhattan from Connecticut, where he had recently moved, to meet me.

We had a series of monthly lunches, from noon to one, my lunch hour, close to where I was working. As I’ve described, this kind of regularity was not his pattern. He was not an on-time or reliable person. I didn’t know he could do it. At the second meeting, he arrived quite late.  (His explanation, ironically, was that he had stopped to buy my brother an alarm clock so that he could get to work on time.) I only had an hour-long lunch break, which left us no more than 15 minutes. As tempted as I was to stay beyond that hour, I couldn’t. He almost couldn’t believe it. He had a good reason for being late, after all! After that, though, he was on time for every lunch.

During those meetings, we laid the past aside and talked only of what was happening in our lives. The conversations were delicate and tender, cautious, but full of love for the fact that they were happening at all.

Key to the healing effect of these meetings for me was his honoring of the structure, timeliness and reliability that I needed. I hadn’t even known I needed them or that I could ask for them.

We only met about six times and then he was diagnosed with terminal lung cancer. He was estimated to have 18 months to live, but he caught pneumonia and died soon after. By way of honoring him, I want to acknowledge that for those six meetings, he tamed that instinct to maintain power and found a way to be on time and reliable, and to interrupt the survival pattern that drove him so often in life. Those meetings meant the world to me after he died and have been deeply consoling ever since.

Chanting Torah today was an expression of belonging as a Jew in this community. As I took this step, I was made more aware of how I am different because of my non-Jewish parentage and ancestry. This moment wouldn’t have had a le-dor va-dor (connecting Torah chanting to past and future generations) resonance for my parents were they still alive. And it doesn’t connect me to mysterious, unknown ancestors. But it does connect me to you, this community, to other dear friends who are Jews, to my Jewish children, to a community that has taught me about caring for the collective and trusting the collective.


Monday, September 30, 2024

5785/2024 Tzedakah Gifts from Dorshei Derekh

Thanks, Lynne Jacobs, who heads up this annual practice, along with Jennifer Paget and Betsy Teutsch.

We allocated $3000 from our Treasury, $400 each to 7 grantee organizations and $200 to a local volunteer effort. Our members recommend grantees.

AmericanFriends of Combatants for Peace is a diverse community of U.S. and international activists working in solidarity with CfP to raise awareness and resources, build community, and take direct action to advance the work of CfP for a just peace in Israel and Palestine.

(Several Dorshei members involved with the Philly Chapter.)

Combatants for Peace (CfP) is a joint Palestinian-Israeli community-- guided by the values of nonviolent resistance—that works in solidarity to end the occupation, discrimination, and oppression of all people living on this land.

AmericanFriends of the Parents Circle shares the human side of the Israeli-Palestinian conflict with the American public to foster a peace and reconciliation process.  (DD Members are supporters).

The Parents Circle – Families Forum is a joint Israeli-Palestinian organization made up of more than 600 bereaved families. Their common bond is that they have lost a close family member to the conflict. But instead of choosing revenge, they have chosen a path of reconciliation.

FamilyPromise works with Philly families in times of crisis to prevent eviction, find shelter, and provide access to safe, affordable housing.  (Many DD/GJC supporters. Led by Rachel Falkove for many years.)

GJC Refugee Welcoming Team c/o Fed. of Neighborhood Centers

For work with 2 refugees from Colombia.  (many DD/GJC volunteers)

Hand inHand: Center for Jewish-Arab Education in Israel  

Fast-growing, integrated social movement, working with thousands of people every day, proving that people can live together as Jews and Arabs, Israelis, and Palestinians. (Dorshei supporters)

Rebuilding Together Philadelphia

Providing free home repairs for low-income homeowners in Philadelphia, with a focus on health, safety, and energy efficiency, allowing for family wealth preservation.  (DD supporters and employees.)

TogetherWomen Rise

A community of women and allies dedicated to achieving global gender equality with hundreds of local chapters across the U.S.  (DD supporters; NW Philly groups started by Betsy Teutsch, but NOT her suggestion.)

+ $200 to GermantownCommunity Fridge

Fights hunger and food insecurity.  Provides free, supplemental food in Germantown, Philadelphia. Stocked by the community, for the community, anyone who needs food is welcome to take it. 

Wednesday, September 25, 2024

Yamim No'raim 2025










On behalf of our amazing High Holy Days Planning Committee—Joyce Silverman, Rabbi Avruhm Addison, Rabbi David Teutsch, and Rabbi Simkha Weintraub—we are pleased to share the schedule for Dorshei Derekh's services. We will meet in person in the Temin Canteen Room and 

Thursday, October 3rd
Rosh Hashanah Day 1
9:30 am
 
Friday, October 4th
Rosh Hashanah Day 2
9:30 am
 
Saturday, October 5th
Shabbat Shuvah
10 am
 
Friday, October 11th
Kol Nidre
6 pm
 
Saturday, October 12th
Yom Kippur
 
Morning @ 9:30 am
 
Afternoon & Evening
Bregman Program @ 3:30 pm
Pre-Ne'ilah Study @ 4:40 pm
Ne'ilah @ 5:45 pm
Tekiya G'dola @ 7:07 pm
 
Before each event, we will share more detailed information, including resource sheets.
 
Shana tovah!

Monday, September 2, 2024

Are We a People Chosen by God? - Parshat Re'eh 2024

Are we a people chosen by God?

Rabbi Robert Tabak

Parashat Re’eh – Aug 31, 2024,  Minyan Dorshei Derekh


Based on RT’s article for T’ruah’s (M)oral Torah series of commentaries) August 2024   https://truah.org/resources/robert-tabak-reeh-moraltorah_2024_/

Other quotations in part from a Late Spring 2023 symposium on “Confronting Chosenness” in the RRA Connection, newsletter of the Reconstructionist Rabbinical Association and re-posted on Reconstructing Judaism’s Evolve website.  https://evolve.reconstructingjudaism.org/symposium-confronting-chosenness/ 

 _______________

The Torah portion Re’eh includes a famous and troubling line: “For you are a people consecrated to the Eternal your God; the Eternal your God chose you from among all other peoples on earth to be a treasured people.” (Deuteronomy 14:2)

What does it mean to be chosen, treasured by God? Is this poetic image, reinforced at so many places in the Torah and the traditional prayer book, meaningful or harmful? Are Jews "better" than other people? How do we reconcile this special relationship — woven deeply into Jewish texts — with other texts, especially the creation story in Genesis where all humanity is created in the image of God, long before there are different peoples and certainly no Israelites?’

Rabbi Toba Spitzer:
“When I was in my late 20s, before I knew much about Reconstructionist Judaism, I had stopped saying most of the first paragraph of the Aleinu. When attending services, I’d chant “Aleinu l’shabe’akh) … leyotzer bereshit,” then shut my mouth, and pick up again on “Va’anakhnu korim.” I knew enough Hebrew to feel profoundly uncomfortable thanking God for not making me like other people. Imagine my delight when, as I was reading about Mordecai Kaplan and Reconstructionism in preparation for my first visit to the Reconstructionist Rabbinical College, I discovered that there was a movement that had completely removed the idea of the Jews being a “chosen” people from the liturgy!” , (RRA Connection, Early Spring, 2023).  

Mordecai Kaplan, founder of Reconstructionist Judaism, delivered forceful critiques of chosenness in the mid-twentieth century. He saw this idea as a historical development, but no longer one that was harmless or served to sustain an oppressed minority. Kaplan stated that belief in being “chosen” leads to claims of Jewish superiority — something untrue and incompatible with a democratic society. He rejected the idea that this idea was necessary for Jewish survival today. “By no kind of dialectics is it possible to remove the odium of comparison from any reinterpretation of an idea which makes invidious distinctions between one people and another.” (The Future of the American Jew, 1948, p. 217. Emphasis in original.)

In the Reconstructionist siddur [prayer book], prayers such as the Friday night kiddush, the blessing before reading the Torah, and the Aleinu prayer are re-worded to drop chosenness. Other prayer books have also made some moves in this direction. The Reform Movement in the United States created a prayer book that includes several alternative readings for Aleinu, as does the Israeli Masorti (Conservative) siddur. The newest Israeli Reform siddur (2021) does not drop the idea of chosenness, but in several places — including the Torah blessings — offers a radical re-working as an alternative: a few letters change to convert the traditional “who has chosen us from all peoples” to “who has chosen us with all peoples.”

Have Reconstructionist alternatives influenced other movements?

A number of Reform and Masorti (Israeli Conservative) siddurim have recently offered alternatives to the first paragraph of the Aleinu[ii], for example — sometimes offering the Reconstructionist-based text as one alternative.[iii] Two Reform siddurim (the British Reform movement Forms of Prayer [2008] and the Israeli Reform Tefilat haAdam [2021]) parallel this Aleinu text with another version including chosenness, though not the traditional wording. The Israeli Masorti (Conservative) siddur includes the traditional Aleinu text as the lead option. The American Conservative movement mentions the Israeli alternative Aleinu text (though not the Reconstructionist version) but does not include it in Hebrew.[iv] The U.S. Reform Mishkan T’filah offers an alternative to the traditional Aleinu.[v] The Reconstructionist Kol Haneshamah (1994) retains the traditional Aleinu text in smaller print below a line, with a disparaging commentary.

On the other hand, Orthodox texts in Israel and the diaspora, including modern editions like the Koren siddur, often include the even more exclusivist, “uncensored” text of Aleinu, with the line שֶׁהֵם מִשְׁתַּחֲוִים לְהֶֽבֶל וָרִיק, וּמִתְפַּלְלִים אֶל אֵל לֹא יוֹשִֽׁיעַ, “They bow down to vanity and emptiness and pray to a god who cannot save” — references that many understand as anti-Christian and anti-Muslim.

Elyse Wechterman: “ When we are asked, or ask ourselves, what makes Reconstructionists unique in the ever-widening and flattening denominations and stripes of Jewishness, it is this: the radical notion that all people and peoples are equally beloved of God and have a role to play in the future redemption of our species and planet.

And this idea of radical egalitarianism is more necessary now than we might have thought. The forces of White Christian Nationalism in the United States and virulent Jewish supremacy in Israel (see Menachem Klein’s essay “Israel’s Rule Over the Palestinians Has Created a New Judaism,” in Haaretz, April 8, 2023) make clear what notions of Divine election portend.”(RRA Connection, Early Spring, 2023).  



This discussion is not only about synagogue texts and prayers. Today, especially in Israel, there is much more frequent assertion of “Jewish superiority.” Professor Menachem Klein says, “…The new Judaism — Israeli Judaism it should be said — identifies sovereignty and the rule wielded in its name, with Jewish supremacy and oppression.” (“Israel’s Rule over the Palestinians Has Created a New Judaism,” Haaretz, 8 April 2023.) Rabbi Sharon Brous says, “As painful as it is, we must affirm that Jewish supremacy poses a real and present danger to the Jewish State and to the Jewish people.” (“Tears of Zion,” Feb. 2023). Events since October 7, 2023 have magnified these tendencies.

Yet other texts provide a different framework. Leviticus 19:1 says “You shall be holy…” not “you are already holy. “ Orthodox iconoclast Yeshayahu Leibowitz wrote, “The uniqueness of the people Israel is not a fact; it is a task. The holiness of Israel is not a reality but a role.” (“The Uniqueness of the People Israel”, 1975, in Y. Leibowitz, Emuna, historia, v’erachim 1982, p.117. Ttranslation by R.T.) Like challenges to patriarchy in Judaism, contemporary Jews need to confront the problematic texts in the centuries of biblical, rabbinic, and later works. 

The continuing war in Israel and Gaza, violence against Palestinians by West Bank “religious” Jews, and crises in Israel have accelerated the need for an active role from American Jews who support different views of Judaism.

 Writing before the current war, Rabbi Amy Klein (who lives in the Upper Galilee in Israel and is a leader in protests against policies of the current Israeli government) wrote in 2023 about the aftermath of a pogrom by Jewish settlers against the West Bank Palestinian city of Huwara. “Huwara has legitimized speaking out against racism at demonstrations to save Israel’s democracy,” (RRA Connection, Early Spring, 2023).  

Menachem Klein wrote, “Another possibility, which hasn’t yet been tried, is to find a Jewish theological and historic basis for sharing sovereignty with non-Jews.”  However, Prof. Klein errs in not identifying alternative Jewish visions. Now, in a time of war, need to learn from and add our North American Jewish voices and insights, liberal and traditional, to those Israelis — including those in groups such as Rabbis for Human Rights and Hasmol haemuni [Faithful Left]  — working to strengthen varieties of Judaism based on tzedek (justice), equality, and shalom (peace).   If Jews are to express some sense of being “treasured,” we need new visions of religious perspectives recognizing everyone as created in God’s image.  

Discussion questions:

  1. Does the idea of the “chosen people” mean to you?

  2. How do we wrestle with parts of Jewish tradition (from the Torah onward) that have values or ideas we disagree with?

  3. How do we relate to a Jewish people that includes people –not only a tiny fringe--who assert that Jews are superior to other people and should have more rights than others in Israel and the occupied Palestinian territories?


Sunday, March 24, 2024

Purim 2024/5784

 

It was cold! Thanks Betsy, Grace, Eleanor, Sheila, Bob and Ruth







Thanks to all who contributed in so many ways! Enjoy your goodies, cards, and the reusable cocofiber basket, which you can return for next year. And, reuse the shower cap for covering open containers. :-)

Origami creators: Eleanor Brownstein + Sheila Erlbaum

Bakers/Content Contributers:

Phyllis Berman
Fredi Cooper
Helen Feinberg
Pesha Leichter
Ruth Loew
Naida Mosenkis
Irene McHenry
Sharon Strauss

Assemblers/Deliverers:

Michael Blackman
Eleanor Brownstein
Sheila Erlbaum
Grace Flisser
Ruth Loew
Sharon Strauss
Bob Tabak
David Teutsch

Mayven/Meister

Betsy Teutsch

This year we netted around $1200, we we are sending $300 to each of four tsedakot.

1) Philadelphia's own Female Hebrew Benevolent Society, for Passover ma'ot chitim, provisioning for Passover for low income clients.

2) The Community Germantown Fridge, a community 24/7 street access pantry for our hungry neighbors. We are excited that this year all GJC will be collecting surplus chametz and donating it to the CGF as well.

3) To Dorshei Derekh Alum Ari Brochin, son of Rabbi Reena Spicehandler and Jermy Brochin. The donation will fund the group he works with at the Jerusalem African Community Center, whose members are primarily seeking asylum.

4) To Anya Friedman-Hutter, daughter of Rabbi Dayle Friedman and David Ferleger, who works in education in Beer Sheva and will share it with the hungry there.





Tuesday, March 5, 2024

The Role of Adina Abramowitz, z”l, in Reconstructing Judaism


The role of Adina Abramowitz, z”l, in Reconstructing Judaism  - by Ruth Loew

On December 13, the Germantown Jewish Centre community was stunned and saddened by the unexpected death of Adina Abramowitz z”l.  Adina and her wife, Naomi Klayman, were longtime members of Dorshei Derekh, the Reconstructionist minyan within GJC.  In the minyan, Adina and Naomi often led Shabbat morning services.  Sometimes Adina presented a teaching (d’var Torah) on that week’s Torah reading and led the discussion that followed.  She coordinated Dorshei Derekh’s High Holiday services for several years and took turns as the coordinator for leading services or presenting divrei Torah.  Many who had worked, learned, and worshiped with her, in GJC and in the larger world, valued her for her deep knowledge of Judaism; her talents for organizing (whether a meeting, a project, or a budget) and for teaching; and her honesty, generosity, humility, and dependability.  She had a rare gift for clarifying issues that others found hopelessly confusing.  Her sense of humor was also appreciated: Rabbi Micah Weiss, the Reconstructing Judaism staff Tikkun Olam Specialist, valued Adina’s “ability to lovingly roll her eyes.” 

Her entire career, both professional and volunteer, was driven by her values: she was dedicated to creating a better life for those who were disadvantaged.  Professionally, she worked with CDFIs (Community Development Financial Institutions), which offer financial resources to underdeveloped communities. In her private life, among the many organizations that benefited from her time and talents was the Reconstructionist movement. Most of her work with it was related to one of three projects: the Prayerbook Commission of the 1990’s, the Tikkun Olam (Repairing the World) Commission, and change management support for the Board of Governors.

The Prayerbook Commission created guides to Reconstructionist worship, including a siddur (prayerbook) for Shabbat and holidays; a mahzor (prayerbook for the High Holy Days); a weekday prayerbook; and one for houses of mourning.  Her excellent command of Hebrew and of Jewish liturgy were great assets.  Also importantly, she presented a perspective from the LGBTQ community.  Rabbi David Teutsch, who worked with her on this venture, describes her as “judicious, thoughtful, and capable of working with grace and good will.”

Adina was more recently active in the movement’s Tikkun Olam Commission, which addresses social justice issues. She was passionate about its work, particularly its commitment to racial justice, including reparations. She and Naomi were among the first to sign up for Reconstructing Judaism’s civil rights pilgrimage last spring. She was first a commission member, then became the transitional lay co-chair of the commission. When the new chair was on-boarded and ready to take on leadership, Adina, with characteristic humility, intended to step back into her role as a member.

As part of the Tikkun Olam Commission, she led a qualitative research project on racial justice work in member congregations. What initiatives had the congregations tried? What were they accomplishing? What feedback were they hearing from members of color? This project concluded with recommendations for congregational action. Adina helped make racial justice a primary role of the Commission.

A third area in which Adina took a leading role in Reconstructing Judaism was change management: helping the movement assess its organizational and financial future, particularly in the wake of Covid and, more recently, of October 7, 2023 and its aftermath.  She served as a pro bono consultant to the Reconstructing Judaism Board and movement leadership in evaluating what products and services Reconstructing Judaism offers and how it does its work. That meant working closely with its president, Rabbi Deborah Waxman; its executive vice president, Rabbi Amber Powers; and the senior leadership team. She offered individual coaching and led a pivotal discussion at their retreat this past fall.  She quickly became a trusted advisor, confidante, and coach to many with whom she worked. As Rabbi Deborah Waxman said, “All of this was in a volunteer capacity and all with generosity, creativity and effectiveness.”

Adina quietly went about being helpful whenever she could, without calling attention to herself. She didn’t care whether she was praised for her work; she just cared that the work was done and done well.  As Rabbi Teutsch said, “I never asked for help with anything that she didn’t say yes.” 

Zichronah liv’rachah – זיכרונה לברכה - May her memory be for a blessing.

Thank you to those who agreed to be interviewed for this article: Mark Pinsky, Rabbi David Teutsch, Rabbi Deborah Waxman, and Rabbi Micah Weiss.